First Day at NSC

School resumed today after 3 weeks of holidays (13 weeks if we want to include the electives). went ot NSC for dermato posting. Things are going to be rapid and non-stop from now on and soon i will be sitting for the last of my exams where i have to pay and yet not get paid.
Saw a sgith that stirred me during the clinics today. There was this husband and wife who came into the clinic. The wife had a growth on her little finger and she was worried as to what it may hold. Knowing her insecurity and fears, her husband was there every step along the way, providing support. Every few words that they exchanged, every looks that they gave each other and the body language was so evident. They loved each other a lot, even though they are no longer that young, the youthful exuberance expected in teenagers. It was really sweet to see them, the confidence and faith she placed in her husband and the security he responded with. Ah its such a ling4 ren3 gan3 dong4 scene...

Temptation of Fate

Am i attempting to go against Fate when i willed for it last night? Is it my punishment for telling me that i should not rile with Destiny and must understand and accept what is being placed in store for me and to face the pain that challenging it brings?
Before the start of the Confederations Cup, i was caught in 2 minds. Italia '90, Sweden '92, England '96, Japan/Korea 2002. 4 finals i had witnessed Germany played in and it was win, lose, win, lose. I got that naggy feeling they are going to lose already when they met Brazil 3 years ago but haha it could just be a coincidence and thats why its such a dilema this time round. Do i want to see them in the final of the Confederations Cup which they will no doubt win or should i prefer them to wait till next year, which i had believed in since jc 2 that they were destined to win the World Cup :) Yup so it was my fault that i had willed them to win yesterday's match even though i knew it was not possible because destiny states that i will only see them win alternate finals and the victorious ones is supposed to come only next year. ( i was actually hoping for them to win this one first and then see what happened next year, whether the curse will be broken then) Oh well i guessed its foolish to tempt fate. Served me right for feeling so devastated at the final whistle but it was a gamble i was willing to take and even though it backfired, it was still worth the try. Hee hee Ah Q (or in Singaporean terms, Ah Hock) spirit at its best ^=^

Heaven's Will

There i was with my hands crossed and eyes closed hoping for you to show me the sign that i was so hoping for, to give me the strength, the hope, the belief and the courage but it didn't come. I thought it would come given the way it had bounced back from 1-0 and 2-1 within minutes of going down. But somehow when the 3rd goal came, i knew it wasn't going to come. I see the look on the faces of the German players. Yes they were tired but i hoped (upon the slightest of hope) that they will muster enough strength to get that equaliser to at least give me hope for another 30 minutes. There i sit close to the final whistle, recalling the brilliant form of attacking football that they have displayed over the past few weeks, the improvement they have made in teamwork, rapport and communication adn the dream and hope that i had for them in this tournament. I just couldn't that it was all going to be over within minutes. Is it true that all they had built up was only an illusion, unable to withstand the Brazilians, their 2nd real test in the tournament. I summoned all my inner strenght and tried to will them on. I was closing my eyes and praying feverishly for the miracle to happen but in the end the sign didn't come... Its close to a year now since their exit and like i said before it led to a multitude of unfortunate events. Lets hope that this time round it would not be events going one full cycle before the year concludes.

The past a guiding light ot the future?

I know i did not want to bring up the past again but sadly i realised its hard to forget the past. Without the incident that happened last year, i would not be so caught in 2 minds right now. I could not really bring myself to put in 100% in my effort to persuade because what happened in the past still lingered on in my mind. It was supposed to be a simple procedure, just as it would be now but i dunno. I really fear that there are hidden unknowns behind every corners. I know i m holding back a lot just now. Maybe its because i m afraid to take up responsibility again. I know i m not alone in this as i can see from the look on my parents' eye but i m really afraid. I know that that should be the ideal course from what i've read and understand. But yet I have no idea whether i will be able to withstand a second blow if something were to happen again (touch wood). Haiz...

Most Bizarre F1 Grand Prix

2 weeks ago, i was watching the Canadian Grand Prix on tv, admiring the beauty of the scenery and at the same feel the adrenaline rushing as i see the Renaults, McLarens and Ferraris fighting it out, wondering how nice it would be if i were to be in Canada then.

Fast forward to today, the USA Grand Prix is being played out now on my tv screen and how glad i was that i was NOT there. Haha this is indeed one of the most bizarre F1 race ever, a farce if i may even put it. The last bizarre race that i had witnessed was Brazil 4 years ago, with cars lining up to "retire" on a particular corner. In the end, the race had to be cut short because there was just too many interruptions by the safety car and they were overtime. The winner that race was the leader of the previous lap which incidentally was a huge upset because all the front runners didn't know that was going to happen and had just went for their pit stops and dropped behind (which they had thought would be temporary)

Haha today's one was funny. Michelin tyres had been the darling of F1 racing for the past few seasons. The only one not on Michelin tyres had been the Ferrari team and they had been the sole flag bearer. Poor performance this season had seen them coming under heavy criticism. But today, the Michelin tyres are deemed unsafe and as a result, all the cars on Michelin tyres withdrew from the race. Yes, all the F1 cars that are on michelin tyres returned to the pit lane after the arm up lap. That means, the BMW-Williams, Renaults, Mclaren, Toyotas and virtually all the cars in the top 14 places, leaving behind only the Ferrari and the last 4 cars who are on Bridgestone tyres. As a Ferrari and Schumacher fan, of course i m glad that Ferrari is going to win. Of course they should have shown some sportsmanship and agreed to the changes but then again, Michelin had to be held responsible for their mistake. So as i m in here typing, its the 4 back markers cars (2 Minardis and 2 Jordans) fighting for a place on the podium. Imagine how weird more can it get. anyway, its quite a comical sight also as i looked at the numerous Americans who had paid more than a 100 US bucks to come to the races giving the thumbs down sign all over the tracks. Can't blame them, for feeling cheated though :)

Insomnia Without Fatigue

Hmmm.. how come no one leaves comments on my blog one? i'm sure there are a number of visitors already but the lack of comments suggest otherwise. (Btw, can anybody tell me which html code to edit if i want to change the comments wording?)

Went to the 99S12 outing today. Good good, the number is expanded from the last time i met up with them. I think slowly slowly we will be able to have one where everyone in the class will turn up. Haha yup although i did miss close to 40 minutes of Germany match (been more than 2 years since i missed any moments of their match) but it was really fun just now. Thoroughly enjoyed myself and thats why i didn't really insist on going home early cos it was nice to stay and chat, listening to Pinakin's big business ideas, listening to Wenyi's "interesting" questions and yeah watch him eat that "unsightly" chicken pie : p Anyway, i didn't miss any of the goals in their (which i thought was a convincing) 3-0 victory, so no problem there ^=^ Yup must thank Shuling also, otherwise would have missed more of the match.

Anyway i think i slept for less than 24 hours again in the past 4 or so days. Surprisingly, i m still very energetic. But think i m unlikely to last. Now is the interval betwen the australia - argentina match. Somehow i get the feeling i will most probably concuss during that match. Hopefully, it will be interesting enough to keep me awake... ...

Confederations Cup

Yayyyy!!!!!!! I 've finally finished using the stupid SPSS programme to do my report. It was without a doubt a tough 48 hours, no time for sleep and food. No choice i have to sacrifice something or i would not be able to watch match on tv.

After looking at all 4 matches of the Confederations Cup, i think i will just do a bit of ranking on all the teams involved.
Check point: All those who get bored by soccer, please do not proceed further or i will not be responsible for any ill-effects that u may suffer as a result.

1. Brazil Ah the strongest team in the tournament without a doubt. (Oh well maybe its just because they met a crap team) Loked solid in defence except for the ocassional lapses. KNow how to close shop and shut out when necessary. Attacking quartet of adriano, robinho, kaka and ronadinlho, fast and furious. I m still haunted by the thought of adriano's shot yesterday night, felt like playing winning eleven

2. Argentina As much tempted as i would like to put Germany in second place, from the first round of matches, i must admitthat argentina did looked pretty solid, despite not being very spectacular. Can't imagine what will happen if the majority of those who didn't play in that match came back

3. Germany Finally the world has awakened to the new Germany under Klinsmann. The signs were there over the past few friendlies that something was really happening. Schweinsteiger and Diesler are coming back. And to think that Owomyela and Lahm are not around (the latter injured). There is potential in this team and the faster the defence gained the necessary experience to dispose of Kahn and Lehmann, the better it will be with Hidlerbrand in goal. I would have to rank them above Argentina but the horrific defensive display against Australia (3 shots 3 goals) meant i'd better give a fair appraisal

4-6. Mexico, Tunisia, Japan
Must say sorry to mexico and japan for not being able to give them a proper ranking. Was rushing through my report so was only keeping half an eye on their match. The match sounded quite exciting though with the match commentary coming in. Tunisia is not taht lousy even though they lost. Thje penalty miss was quite crucial for their counter attack game was quite effective.

7. Australia First time seeing Australia played in a very long time and i can't believe how crap they were. There was no organisation in the defence and i m still amazed at how they scored 3 past Germany. Yes i would have put them as last if not for another worse team last night.

8. Greece Without a doubt, they are the worse team at the Confederation Cup.There wa sno way the Greeks looked like they were going to get a goal. Even though, they had their chance, it was more like them appearing out of nowhere, rather than being beautifully craftedchances. And Charisteas, after leaving Werder Bremen, the only thing he can do now is to fall down and ask for penalties. haha serve him right for leaving!

A Spectacular Opening Night

I know its strange that i took so long to blog but with the deadline of my project looming, i really can't find time to blog. Yeah i know its my fault again to delay it till the last minute but i have really have no idea where to start and therefore it was only this morning that i managed to drag myself to start working on it.

Anyway, my reason for blogging is to laugh at all u suckers out there who were laughing at me when i say must go home and watch confederations cup. Too bad u guys missed out on 2 good matches with 10 goals being scored. Haha i thought the opening match was good enough already (although it was marred by starhub failure to rectify the commentary problem for around 35 minutes and i had to figure out who the tunisian players were) but wow match 2 was breathtaking. No doubt i was sad that classic Germany only appeared for 10 minutes ==> the 10 minutes after they took a 3-2 lead where they were stroking the ball around, passing patiently and waiting for the perfect moment to strike the killer sucker punch. Oh well at least compared to last time, they finally managed to solve the attacking problem. They finally looked they were capable of scoring. Whew! Finally there is some improvement from the days where they can't attack, can't defend and can't keep a clean sheet. I must admit i was quite disgusted with the way they conceeded the 3 goals but like i say there is an improvement and 3 points is still 3 points.

Haha, anyway, i was very amused to read today's New Paper. That day i was complaining about how Germany was playing like Holland (where they prefer to play with the ball rather than deal the finishing blow in front of goal) but it seemed like the reporters are saying this Germany is getting to be like Brazil where they think about just scoring one more than their opponent. But the signs were there since Schweinsteiger burst onto the scene and with Klinsmann's approach, i really believe in them being able to acheive great things in these 2 years. And finally people are agreeing with me that Ballack tends to play slack at important times. Oh well, can they reprodice the same form against the Tunisian who are strong on their flanks (Germany's weakest link currently)? I certainly hope so...

Eagerly awaiting -- Part 1

Whew, i m so very excited. In a few hours time, i m going to see my first love in competitive action again. It has been a year since they suffered that cruel and bitter exit at the hands of the Latvians, a small event which somehow unknowingly heralded the start to the most turbulent period of my life. Many things had happened in the one year, some bad and some good. Things had been on the upward curve now, especially in the last few months and i looked forward to her doing well to show the world what they can do next year :)

So for the next 10 days at least (hopefully 14), she will be my companion at night. She is a nice Mannschaft and will give me a night rest for every 2 nights that i spent with her. Hee hee this at least means that i wun have to neglect my friends and my colour pencil ^=^

5 Things to do on a 10-hour bus ride

What will i do if i am on a 10-hour bus ride. Having been to Malaysia a few times on bus, i realised i dun actually do much on a bus but i think if i was in this situation, i would:

1. Talk to my mum who would usually be sitting beside me, banishing my dad to those solo seats. (But haha, sometimes i will be nice and let them enjoy the ride together)

2. Look at the mountains and country side that lined the road, and admiring their beauty.

3. Peek at the night forest and wonder what beasts roam there, tigers, lions and even grizzly bears. (heheh may even think of how to bash thru them given some army training)

4. Sleep and enjoy the bumpy ride, imagining myself to be on a roller coaster.

5. And of course, think about those whom i loved and who matter to me, wondering how nice it would be if they were to accompany me on the trip.

I liked taking bus rides. I think its more soothing than a train ride. Furthermore during the coffee breaks for the driver, its always exciting to find out what is being sold at those stations.

Spent the day singing karaoke today. Sang a lot of retro songs because there were not much new songs for me to sing liao. Haha guess the influx of karaoke these couples of months, coupled with the lack of new songs had took its toll. It was nevertheless a relaxing session though. Oh halfway through, i got the phone call. Haha i was preparing for that so did not had my songs lined up in the beginning first.

It has been a wonderful month. There is so much to say and treausre but hee hee i think its a better idea to just reserve them for myself than put it out here in words :p

Self confidence takes time but the belief is seeping back

It felt good to know that u care. I was really surprised when ur call came as it was quite unexpected. I was half expecting a SMS (hee hee knowing that u r unlikely to get the hidden code behind my last post :p) but definitely not a call. Was very happy to hear ur voice, especially that of a healthy fluless one. I know how terrible it is to be sick while on a holiday. Pity my phone battery was running low though. I was planning to discharge it entirely tonight in order for it to be full for the next 36 hours or so (timezone concerns), so ooops the call was cut off early. Haha well till next time ^=^

Belief & Self Confidence

Its not a good feeling to lose self confidence but i can't help it. There i was sitting and looking and realised that there was no one i can replaced. Memories of the past came back to haunt me and even though i knew i was not really that bad, those memories reminded me that i couldn't do much even if i was given the chance and may even do worse. Haha a liability it may seem that i would become, words from someone whom u would never believe to have originate from. Anyway, i wasn't that happy at the end of it all, not because by my lack of contribution but by the perceived insult that was hurled. It may not be intentional and thats why i was willing to forgive and forget this time round but it did suck to feel this way. Not exactly a good day it seemed.

Haha i guessed i hanged around "wrong company" for a long time, indulged in the wrong kind of things and as a result, neglected a particular area of myself. This part of me did came momentarily for a while 7 years ago but it went away as fast within months, not by will but by force. Maybe its heaven will to dissuade me from doing such "dangerous" stuff, so should i listen and accept? The truth is i know i can do it but it just seemed not to happen and with every passing incident, the confidence dwindled. Oh well, just happen that i m in a moaning mood now. Soon it will all pass and i will be back to my happy self again tomorrow after a nice good sleep.

PS: Dun worry. The stand-in colour pencils are still working fine so there is no need to import the original ones :)

My Surprise got Surprised!

Tonight was another special night. Its a funny feeling to get a surprise after planning to give a surprise instead. Hee hee honestly speaking, i never imagined it would come given all that had happened and maybe thats what make it even the more sweeter. The test did come earlier than expected but i m real glad that we managed to go through it. I believed it had made us stronger, and more ready to cope with any much bigger stuff ahead :)

And just in case u are wondering how happy i m, its impossible to describe but i am still up and savouring the moment now at 4am in the morning ^=^

Thus the surprise continue. Bremen was expected to lose Valerian Ismael, their Turkish defender who had been a pillar of strength for the past 2 seasons, including last last double winning season. I surely didn't expect him to be joining Bayern but voila, Torsten Frings returned to Brmen after a 3 year absence as a result of this deal. This is definitely a pleasant surprise for all Bremen fans. He was nutured by us and now he had decide to return. Good day all in all. Haha

Last Day of Posting

Left KK today after being there for 8 weeks to do my elevtive posting. Wasn't the ideal way to conclude a last day of posting with the rhinitis, making me so sick that i had to fall out sick towards the end of the rounds. Couldn't even stay for the evening rounds to make up for the morning one cos i cannot survive liao. Was intending to go suntec to visit both the book fair and the PC show but my physical condition means that home was my only possible destination.

Felt sad to be leaving KK. 8 week posting at a single hospital always make me feel attached to the place. I mean i understand the university's desire to rotate us around as much as possible but i think an 8 week posting at one hospital is definitely better than two 4-week ones at different places. With an 8-week posting, we can have 2 weeks of acclimatisation, 2 weeks of enthusiasm, 2 weeks of slackness and lastly 2 weeks of reinvigoration. On the contrary, a 4 week posting would mean 2 weeks of acclimatisation and then madness liao. No time to get attached to the place and no time to slack.

Yup but ICU posting is a good experience. I think if i were to ever do paeds in the future, i would definitely come back to the ICU for a posting. It is the place where one should be if he wants to get the satisfaction of seeing patient recovers day by day. Furthermore, a variety of acute problems is presented to us now and then, admist all the routine stuff that need to be done. And the atmosphere around is very good too. I really loved this posting (yup even though i failed to ask my tutor for any tutorial. Think me too slack liao :p) A posting with no regrets :)

Musical Baton???

Total volume of music files on the laptop: 14.3MB, 160 songs
hee hee i know its very little compared to all u bug pirates out there, especially so when i'm like using desktop some more but can't blame me. I'm still one ohe traditional user of dial up technology, so not worth it to download.

The last CD I bought was: FIR's Wu Xian
as a result of my computer's inability to download songs, i have to buy CD and so i have loads of them at home. U guys must be wondering why didn't i burn them to the computer. well i dunno whichever hacker did something to my computer, it can't rip, helping the people of RIAS instead. So irritating...

Song playing right now: Zhang Shao Han's Yi Shi De Mei Hao
Have been listening to this song ever since the start of the show more than a month ago. Likes the melody a lot. The beautiful pictures of dolphins will also come to my mind whenever i hear it, very good for the dreamy me... Its so hard to find another song that is so melodious that i won't get irritated even if i were to hear it for the 50th time consecutive.

Five songs that I listen to a lot, or mean a lot to me (currently):
1. Zhang Shao Han's Yi Shi De Mei Hao
The first one is quite easy. I mean if i dun like this song, there is no way i'll listen to it like more than 100 times on my desktop liao right.

2. Guang Liang's Tong Hua
Nice song. Got the pei pei feel to it also. Always like his songs, can scream or express his emotions when singing it during karaoke. The lyric is ok but i m in it for the tune not the words.

3. FIR's Wo Men De Ai and Ba Ai Fang Kai
Sorry for playing cheat but i think the 2 songs come hand in hand. Its meant to be a continuation too right. Yeah i know YH loves to sing this song whenever i irritate him but yeah its pretty amazing the time at which the 2nd song appears. Was like a sign to me (hee hee the supestitious me is still alive!!!)

4. SHE's Ai Wo De Zi Ge
Quite an old song. Was one of my previous can listen to 50 consecutive and yet not get sick and tired songs. Good rhythm, meaningful words. Still had a lasting impression on me

5. Gigi Leung's Mo Huan Ji Jie
Fantasy tune, dreamy feel. Nice song even though it was meant to be an advertising song. Close fight between this and her Turn Left Turn Turn Right (which i had used for my ringtone)

Five people I'm passing the baton to:
Its hard to say who to pass the baton to cos i dun even know who is reading my blog but i shall try:

1. lenoil: come show us some classical and jazzy music dude. haha of course i am sure u'll also have some nice chinese songs to share too

2. one stroke: i know u r in sri lanka now but maybe u can join in the game and have something to blog about when u r back (haha if blogging about ur trip is not enough)

3. llsemar: hee hee try try before u start work

4. minimana: know u seldom blog nowadays but maybe can try

5. blueforest: this one is the most funny because i know u dun even read my blog (or even know of its existence) but haha u took my first choice domain name so i m just putting u down

Wanton Noodles Anyone?

Tuesday was a bad day. Woke up to realise my clock was half an hour late. Developed a craving for Wanton Noodles the night before and so was pretty sad that i woke up late because it meant i cannot go Tekka market for my nice breakfast. Told mommy that school was going to start late and so went back to sleep. In the end, Mommy and Daddy offered to drive me to school and since they were driving me, it meant i got chance to ask for a wanton noodle breakfast :)

So we went to the coffee shop near my house. Bad choice! After being pampered by the top class wanton noodles of Tekka market, phueehhhh, the noodles sucked big time. Bad start to the day and i think daddy's van air con losing power again, so was all hot and sweaty on the way to school. Upon reaching school, started having diarrhoea. Was wondering whether it was a good decision to come to school but no choice, need my tutor to teach me SPSS, so die die also must hang around. Tutor was very busy so i waited in the MO room. Looked after the laptop for my registrar while waiting for either Guangming, Kwei Yong or Wendy to call me to go for lunch but no call came. Went to grand round hungry and exhausted. Round end yet no call came, so went to Tekka market alone to have lunch because wanted to eat Wetern food (no more left around my house, all closed) Yuckiest western food i had ever eaten in a long time. The meat was burnt and overcooked while the sauce tasted like plain water. Didn't even know what i was eating... Trudged back dejectedly back to KK. Thought doctor can give me SPSS tutorial. Suddenly got influx of patients, doctor not free even until 5 plus. Mission unaccomplished. Very sad. Went Bugis Kinokuniya. Another sad case. Only learnt yesterday, got week long 20% storewide discount for members but yesterday was last day. Orchard main store closed for stock-taking some more mean cannot buy cheap french and german books. Dunno what to buy at Bugis Kino but just go there see see...

Lucky things become better. Met Guangji and Celine there. He offered to send me home (= no need squeeze bus or MRT) Bought 2 cute comic titles (and was happily reading it, so funny and bian tai). Reached home, realised got Tampines vs Geylang but too tired to go see as i just plonked on the bed (pity though, tamp won 7-0). Woke up in time to realise got Ms Universe on TV. Was watching till swim suit segment when i was "forced" off tv. It wasn't that bad though cos i realised their swim suit this year looked ugly (more like lingerie than swim suit) Anyway dun think Ms Canada was pretty so didn't miss much (Ms Puerto Rico and Ms Mexico were good though but cannot say too much here ^=^) Got pampered till way past midnight. Bad day slowly become not-so-bad day

Woke up today same thing. Clock was okay but mommy overslept. So this time round, told Mommy honestly that i was late but she also cannot say anything since she woke me up late, hee hee. Daddy and Mommy felt guilty about yesterday so they brought me to Uncle Boon's wanton noodles which was as good as ever. Ah.. super start to the day. No more diarrhoea also. Journey to school was also not hot. Reached school, doctor taught me how to use my SPSS. Everything too beautiful liao. Furthermore, went to buy nice chocolates for my doctors in the evening, sampling them and having fun at the Esplanade. Excellent day! Reached home tired physically but happy mentally. Yayyyyy!!!! What a Tale of Two Days