Belief & Self Confidence

Its not a good feeling to lose self confidence but i can't help it. There i was sitting and looking and realised that there was no one i can replaced. Memories of the past came back to haunt me and even though i knew i was not really that bad, those memories reminded me that i couldn't do much even if i was given the chance and may even do worse. Haha a liability it may seem that i would become, words from someone whom u would never believe to have originate from. Anyway, i wasn't that happy at the end of it all, not because by my lack of contribution but by the perceived insult that was hurled. It may not be intentional and thats why i was willing to forgive and forget this time round but it did suck to feel this way. Not exactly a good day it seemed.

Haha i guessed i hanged around "wrong company" for a long time, indulged in the wrong kind of things and as a result, neglected a particular area of myself. This part of me did came momentarily for a while 7 years ago but it went away as fast within months, not by will but by force. Maybe its heaven will to dissuade me from doing such "dangerous" stuff, so should i listen and accept? The truth is i know i can do it but it just seemed not to happen and with every passing incident, the confidence dwindled. Oh well, just happen that i m in a moaning mood now. Soon it will all pass and i will be back to my happy self again tomorrow after a nice good sleep.

PS: Dun worry. The stand-in colour pencils are still working fine so there is no need to import the original ones :)